Cher Sets Her (Surgically Altered) Sights on Chris Hayes

Everyone knows the term “Cougar,” right? The older woman who goes after younger men. It was funny five years ago for about 10 minutes. Now it’s a sitcom and a slogan found on T-shirts at the Goodwill.

But the “OC,” the original cougar, is back on the prowl – and no nerd is safe.

Cher, the great-grandmother, patron saint of the cougar movement, has herself a bit of a crush… on MSNBC’s Chris Hayes (or Rachel Maddow depending how you see him.) Hayes, who is happily married, nerdy, not funny or a lesbian, has no known fetish for plastic nor a known desire to leave his wife for the vapid actress twice his age (he’s 33, she’s 66). So that love will remain unrequited.

Cher has no delusions about her ability to get Hayes, so she’s interested in his “type.” After a good 45 years of dating hippies and bikers, she’s is now interested in the nerdy type. She’s put friends on notice to be on the look out for someone with whom she can avoid raising hell with and discuss economic policy and world affairs.

Given the intelligence level of her tweets… finding a man who can have a conversation about serious issues with Cher that she can understand may well involve breaking age of consent laws. In Hollywood that’s not really a barrier people take seriously and would probably earn her the Roman Polanski honorary Oscar.