Can Zombies Tweet Back?

Sure, you can use Twitter to report on severe weather or earthquakes, but why stick to such boring subject matter when you can track zombies instead?

As reported by TechCrunch, since Dec. 14, Gus of Miami has been documenting his battles with zombies on the microblogging service, even being thorough enough to include some TwitPics and a video.

Some of the more interesting recent tweets by Gus:

Well that was refreshing. As opposed to slow drone-like zombies or rapid raging zombies, I just saw one jogging casually along a riverbank.

And by no means am I going to bang a zombie. Though the image of her giving me a handy using someone else’s severed hand is kinda hot.

Before the zombie apocalypse the last fist fight I got into was in 7th grade. It was over mystery meatloaf.

Zombie bachelor party? Rent a party van, get drunk and eat strippers.

You know who I can’t stand? Zombies that are clearly irate I am still alive. They are taking their prime directive way too seriously.

First new year’s resolution: cut masturbation sessions in half. It turns you into a zombie magnet. They know when you are at your weakest.

The truth has been revealed! Zombies do take shits!