Can’t Buy Me (Reggie) Love

President Obama’s “body man” Reggie Love, who recently left the White House for graduate school, wants you to have dinner with the First Family. Well, not really. What Reggie really wants is for you to donate money to the President’s reelection campaign to be entered into a drawing for a chance to win dinner with the Obamas. At least this chance will only cost you $3 and not the $38,500 is usually costs to attend a private event with the President.

Reggie lent his name to a preschool quality fundraising email for the campaign. I say he “lent his name” to it because no adult human being would write such an email, this much stupidity can only come about by committee.

In “his” email, Reggie recalls the good old days when he was paling around with the President…on our dime. Jetting around the world, grabbing takeout and playing basketball were just some of Reggie’s duties. As Mel Brooks said in History of the World Part 1, “It’s good to be the kind.”

Reggie was paid to do a lot of things usually covered by friends. Being paid to be President Chandler’s Joey is good work, if you can get it.

Of the contest Reggie writes, “So this is a big deal. Barack and Michelle are two of my favorite people in the world, because at the end of the day they’re like any other family.”  Any other family who takes separate private planes to the same luxury vacation destination, just like your neighbors, no doubt.

He later writes, “I’ll miss eating and talking with the Obamas, but it’s an honor to make room at that table for a few of the people who matter most to the President.” Who are these people? The While House visitor’s log would lead you to believe that it’s AFL-CIO President Richard Trumka since he’s there so often, but we know a blast campaign email wouldn’t mean him. So he must mean campaign donors, since that’s what the email is asking for. It’s basically a long-winded way of saying, “Give a couple of bucks and have a shot to meet the President.” Exactly as the Founding Fathers intended, I’m sure.

There’s something unseemly about this email and this contest. How has the presidency been reduced to something akin to a Publisher’s Clearinghouse sweepstakes?

Politicians always lament big money in politics, but at least big money people have it to spare. Those people are not the target of this contest. With the economy being how it is, this is like milking a sickly skinny cow of its last drop for the possibility of something to eat.

If you’ve got $3 burning a hole in your pocket, it might be better spent buying a sandwich for a homeless person, or simply being saved. Unless you enjoy jetting around the globe, eating takeout and are good at basketball, in which case it could lead to a pretty cushy job.

UPDATE: U.S. News & World Report‘s Washington Whispers had a take on this story yesterday. But you know what? All ego aside, ours is better. But fair is fair. Here’s their story.

The entire email after the jump…

For the last four years, I had the privilege of following Barack Obama around wherever he went.

If he was on a plane, I was on a plane. If he got takeout on the road, I got takeout. If he wanted to play basketball … well to be honest, I’m pretty good at basketball, so it wasn’t exactly fair for him, but I played, too.

So as the guy who got to be the President’s “body man,” I want to thank you for all that you do to support his campaign. I saw up close how much it means to him.

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