Brewers to Obama: Where’s the Beer Certificate?

You’ve heard that The White House runs America’s greatest unsung craft beer brewery, right? But did you know that it’s mobile? That’s right, it fits on the campaign bus. Good times!

Well, some jealous ninnies just can’t deal with the President concealing what should obviously be the intellectual property of the American people—they’re demanding that the White House release the recipe for this executive brew, and they’re doing it via online petition! It’s democracy 2.0 at work!

Created in 2011, White House Honey Ale (sounds a little light to us) was the first beer brewed at the request of our current President, who purchased the kit with his own money after embarrassing himself by drinking a Bud Light at the infamous beer summit for some unknown reason that we choose to find offensive.

By the way, Obama isn’t the first significant American to brew at home:

George Washington, Benjamin Franklin and Thomas Jefferson reportedly enjoyed “the rewards of home-brewed beer” as well–John Adams abstained, but he never really seemed to enjoy much of anything, did he?

Will these brave brewers succeed in their valiantly patriotic quest to get to the bottom of all unanswered questions about Obama’s brewing background? Well, as of this moment they only need to collect 23,979 more digital signatures by September 17th to reach their goal of 25,000. Get on it, guys!

In researching this story, we also learned that the White House created a darker “porter” version of their signature ale, and we might just have to sample that one. As FDR reportedly said while signing the law that nullified Prohibition, “I think this would be a good time for a beer.”