Boldfacious Names, Grimmtastic solutions

Proof that Campbell Robertson did not earn his recent Fishy by fluke: today’s Boldface Names column in the NYT is deliciously whimsical, yet filled with practical advice for keeping the profanity jones under control.

After taking in “Glengarry Glen Ross,” Robertson and his merry band found themselves shocked by the profusion of four letter words, but sallied forth out of duty, and honor:

Nevertheless, we are journalists and we are here to tell you what happened, even if that means we have to take out the naughty words and replace them with the names of wholesome children’s characters.

He then delights the child in all of us by invoking Peter Pan, Bambi, Winnie the Pooh, and Jiminy Cricket (whose name sounds not dissimilar to that of the new Stuff editor). He also invents a new fun playmate to hug and squeeze and just love and love to bits: “Mario Cantone, our cuddly little quote-bear.” Aw. More fun than a Furby!

All in all, a great fucking column.

We Thought It Was a Sneezy Good Play, Too