Featured in Features

A look at the oddities featured in D.C. publications

CNN contributor concludes that Bob Schieffer “must be straight”— The sexuality of CBS News anchor Bob Schieffer probably isn’t something most people spend time thinking about. But after he remarked that President Obama‘s Inaugural address had “no real memorable lines,” CNN.com’s LZ Granderson figured it was a good time to broach the issue. He wrote today that “CBS’ Bob Schieffer must be straight,” noting that there was one “pretty memorable” passage from Obama’s speech in support of gay marriage. For the record, Schieffer is married. To a woman.

Advice columnist tells reader to break up with boyfriend because he doesn’t like her criminal best friend— “Trouble in Tennessee” wrote in this week to WaPo advice columnist Carolyn Hax for some relationship guidance. The reader says she’s been in a “tumultuous” relationship but that her boyfriend has said he’s willing to continue it if she will stop seeing her best friend. Problem: The best friend participates in unnamed “illegal activities.” The best friend, however, has supposedly “cleaned up her act for the most part” (ie. she’s still doing illegal things sometimes). Hax advises the reader to break up with the boyfriend because he’s just too controlling. Because it’s not at all reasonable to ask your significant other to stop hanging around criminals.

National Zoo apes join douchebags who have iPads to do mindless sh-t — iPads can be used for productive things. By and large, however, most people (ages 2 and up) use them to play stupid games and take poorly-framed photos in their bathroom mirror. Apes at the National Zoo join the crowd. They now know how to play a harp-simulating music application on the device, according to a feature by Eric P. Newcomer in the Washington Examiner. Why couldn’t they be taught something useful with an iPad? Like how to read, paint their toenails or tie scarves?

Atlantic editor wants more talk about poop transplants…Unappealing medical procedures 101 — NYT ran a story last week about a medical procedure in which one person’s feces are run through another person’s bowels. The article lit up Twitter and brought out the potty humor in all of us. James Hamblin, health editor at The Atlantic, isn’t laughing. “No, it’s not an innately appealing concept — having someone else’s poop where there’s only supposed to be your own,” he writes. “It’s not a dinner-party or first-date conversation starter. It might even speak to other behavioral issues if you were unabashedly on board with the idea when you first heard it. But for all that gastroenterologists see and deal with, this isn’t really above or beyond.” Hamblin’s hope is that we “talk about this until it’s not ick” and becomes a “more palatable” subject.

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