Betty Thomas to Helm Dallas, the Funny Version

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William Goldman famously wrote that “in Hollywood, nobody knows anything”. Ain’t it the truth.

Betty Thomas will direct the big screen version of Dallas–as a rib-ticking comedy, with John Travolta as J. R. Ewing. (In which case, why not a musical?) Variety reminds us of previous casting hilarity:

When the movie was derailed late last year, Gurinder Chadha (“Bend It Like Beckham”) was directing. Luke Wilson was attached to play Bobby Ewing with Shirley MacLaine to play Miss Ellie, while producers were talking with Meg Ryan to play Sue Ellen after Jennifer Lopez dropped out.

Meg Ryan = Jennifer Lopez = Linda Gray. Well, they all have lips.