Are You My Mother?: Emap Update

Meet your new owner?

What’s the cliché, again? You’re not paranoid if they really are out to get you? We ask because we’re guessing that if the current exchange rates hold up, they’re going make acquisition target mincemeat out of American media companies. Or American Media companies. Or both. Are we being paranoid? (We’re not really drama queens, but it’s all very sword-of-Damocles, darling, and damned if we’re not getting a little nervous on their behalf.)
So when The Guardian reports that Emap’s finances this quarter are actually looking better than last quarter’s, and that they’re got a U.S. dog-and pony-show scheduled, we can almost feel the impending doom. (Not that we’re worried about Emap specifically. The last time Emap had any significant American media properties, they ended up belonging to Henry Kravis, who characteristically had to kill a few to feed the others. It’s a general sense of dread, really.)
In the meantime, we’re imagining what it would be like to be owned by a media company that sounds like a pharmaceutical product and is largely responsible for the existence of reality TV.
Emap [Yahoo! Finance, UK]