APOCALYPSE WATCH: McDonald’s Now Serving Monster Energy Drinks

Diet. Schmiet. Give me the juice...and a cardiac arrest.

Just when you thought getting a salad and a Diet Coke in the Mickey D’s drive thru was going to get those love handles off, comes news that the Golden Arches loves you just the way you are.

McDonald’s is selling Monster Energy drinks!

Bloomberg reports that McDonald’s plans to hurl hundreds of calories down your gullet in a beta market consisting of 20 of its U.S. restaurants, potentially opening up a new market for the high-caffeine beverages.

“We’re always gathering feedback from customers on the food and beverages they’d like to be served at McDonald’s, and this is another example,” Lisa McComb, a spokeswoman for the fast-food chain, said in an e-mail. Locations in Michigan, Ohio, Georgia, Florida and Illinois are testing the drinks, she said.

Because after you have an artery-hardening value meal, a 36-ounce can of power diabetes is just what a guy or gal needs after a hard 9-to-5.

And it can be yours for an extra $1.50 per meal. To you, it’s a slow demise. To Monster, it’s a fast cash grab.

Monster, which declined to comment on the report, jumped 5.2 percent to $139.61 at the close in New York, the biggest gain since Feb. 27. The shares are now up 29 percent this year.

That’ll do, America. That’ll do.

[FEATURED PHOTO: Christoph Schmidt/dpa/Corbis; H/T GrubStreet]

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