APOCALYPSE WATCH: Krispy Kreme Sells a 2,400-Doughnut Box

krispy kreme

No, those aren’t Cheerios.

Ladies and gentlemen, start your arteries.

America has never been more aware of its weight problems than it is right now. The CDC tells us that obesity has more than doubled among children and quadrupled among adolescents in the past 30 years. The dieting industry is a billion-dollar business.

In the other corner, Krispy Kreme proudly says, “Screw that PR. We like a nation with curves. Lots of them!

According to USA Today, it’s called the Krispy Kreme Double Hundred Dozen: 2,400 glazed Krispy Kreme doughnuts stuffed into a single, heart-stopping (literally!) box. The giant package measures 11.4 feet by 3 feet and is so heavy that it took eight Krispy Kreme workers to deliver it.

more kripsy kreme“I was there — it’s a very, very big box,” said Gemma Vardon, director at Krispy Kreme’s U.K. PR agency, The Academy. Unfortunately, no one weighed the box, so its weight remains a mystery. But its price — if one were to be sold — is not a mystery. That would be about $2,600 U.S. dollars, Vardon said.

So you can contribute to the congestive heart failure of your staffers for the low price of $1.08 a donut. For grins, let’s break this down: each Krispy Kreme donut contains 200 calories and 12 grams of fat. If you do your math, this box offers you and yours 480,000 calories and 28,800 grams of fat.

For this, Krispy Kreme’s PR shop says, “Just kidding.”

Behind all this: Krispy Kreme’s U.K. PR machine working in overdrive. The brand simply wanted to promote the fact that it was creating a new “Krispy Kreme Occasions” division that would customize doughnut offerings for corporate events or special occasions such as weddings and other celebrations. The division sells doughnut “towers” for special events or even personalized doughnuts with customized, chocolate name plates or corporate logos.

There’s an occasion for this purchase, all right: it’s called “Type 2 diabetes diagnosis.”