APOCALYPSE WATCH: Gizmodo Shares What’s Wrong with America

gizmodo-logoWhat’s the state of the United States today?

From the Kardashians to the “Real Housewives,” athletes’ contracts to underpaid civil servants, the cost of living in New York to the even higher cost of living in San Francisco, there are tell-tale signs everywhere.

However, few things on the planet will offer a darker portrait of humanity in general than the Black Friday ballyhoo.

But what if there were something about Thanksgiving that overshadows the sight of people literally pitching a family-sized tent in front of Walmart to save $200 on a TV?

Gawker property Gizmodo just shared such a thing.

Gizmodo? The website that espouses itself as “the gadget testers?” That Gizmodo.

We guess that its writers got tired of reading BuzzFeed “not clickbait” headlines and gave kitsch a try via this sacrilegious masterpiece: How to Cook Thanksgiving Dinner in Your Microwave.

turkey microwave

The headline and the image is all Gizmodo — and as most of America chokes on its sweet potato pie and yams, this is no joke.

It makes sense: now that many retailers are abandoning their promises not to make staffers work on the holiday, many Americans may not get such a sweet holiday spread. In fact, many will be dining on a TV dinner that barely resembles a turkey slice and that nuclear slop called “dressing.”

And so, articles like this are necessary.

To be candid, and perhaps it’s because all your humble blogger has had to eat today is a pop-tart (lukewarm because of a client phone call in the car), the microwave turkey looks pretty good. We’ll stick with the nine-course meal of tryptophan delight on Thursday, but to employees who have no choice but to miss the biggest meal of the year…

This bird’s for you.