AOL Layoffs: Fun With Tim Armstrong Corporate-Speak

Just days after completing its acquisition of Huffington Post (and seeing its stock dip in the immediate aftermath) AOL has announced it’s layoff time. Gotta keep the shareholders happy! All in all, AOL is shedding 900 jobs worldwide, with 200 of those jobs coming from editorial.

Hooray redundancy! Don’t you just love media mergers? Moguls get richer and writers get laid off.

Business Insider got a hold of AOL CEO Tim Armstrong’s memo to staff. It’s quite a treat. Filled with gloriously evil corporate speak. We personally like this graph, which comes just after Armstrong lets his staff know that changes in “organizational structure” will be costing people their jobs.

The structural changes at AOL are possible because of the progress we have made as a team in the last 12 months.  The majority of our sites have materially improved their consumer experiences, our advertising business continues to get healthier and more innovative, our video position is strengthening everyday, our local footprint is quickly expanding, we are attracting some of the most talented people in the world to work at AOL, and our technology infrastructure is simpler and more robust.  AOL is a global brand and a global opportunity and we are doing the hard work that will once again make the company an industry leader.

That’s right! These layoffs are possible because of all your hard work. We couldn’t have done it without you!

This graph is also fun, just to see how many times Armstrong can squeeze the word “brand” in there.

AOL’s brand portfolio has become more focused and stronger over the last year and we will continue to invest in our brands.  We are committed to an AOL brand architecture that empowers us to build best-in-class brands that serve valuable audiences with incredible content and great experiences.  As you have seen and have access to, AOL’s brands are measured with a consistent set of criteria that will allow us to transparently judge the health of each brand.  As we considered adding The Huffington Post, we looked at the combined assets of the two companies and have found creative ways to strengthen our portfolio and will continue the brand refinement process over time.

We count seven, but we may have missed a couple…or ten.

Read the rest of Armstrong’s memo for yourselves and see what fun you can come up with.

H/T Romenesko