Election Day Edition of Ask Piranhamous Anything

Today we have a special election day installment of: “Ask Piranhamous Anything.” Have a question for the ever-angry Piranhamous? Send it to FishbowlDC@mediabistro.com and we’ll get it answered.

1. If you had only one news source for a week – Politico or Buzzfeed – what do you choose? 

A slow, painful death. God, what a horrible thought. Neither is worth their weight is dog crap. Since I have to choose I’d go with Buzzfeed, but I can’t back that up with a reason beyond the fact that the coin came up heads.

2. What do you think about the sometimes harsh “fuck you” relations between reporters and flacks? Too mean or just right? 

I reject your options and insert “Too nice.” I don’t want reporters to be friends with flacks, or even friendly. They need each other so they’ll have to deal, but I want neither to trust the other. That way when a flack hands off some crap, a reporter won’t run with it just to ingratiate themselves to a source and reporters will question and verify everything flacks gives them. There’s too much back-scratching happening in the media these days with flacks and you end up with anonymous attack non-stories because A) they want content, and B) reporters want sources for when actual news happens. Reporters used to work stories over time, investigate and discover things. Now they have to publish five stories per day and end up writing irrelevant crap. Have I mentioned lately how much the media sucks?

Check out more questions, on Ann Coulter and Chris Matthews…

3. Ann Coulter has been all over the Fox News airwaves for the election. You think she really believes half the shit she says? 

Half? Sure. The other half? Yes. One thing about Ann is she isn’t shy or worried about offending people, so she says whatever she thinks. That isn’t to say it won’t piss people off or sound crazy, but saying things that piss people off and sound crazy doesn’t mean you don’t believe it

4. What do you think Chris Matthews will do if Obama loses? 

Cry, both tears and racism. It will be hilarious to watch. Even if you want to see Obama reelected, part of you has to admit you want to see how Matthews, and MSNBC in general, reacts to a loss. If you’re on the fence, it’s motivation enough to vote for Romney. The first person to post it on YouTube will make a fortune from the ad revenue from their partnership program alone. So, in an indirect way, a vote against Obama could be your personal stimulus program.