Aniston Sets Record Straight: Aunt Mary is Not a Liar

This is one of those stories that makes us feel sorry for celebrities. Jennifer Aniston has withstood being called a baby-hating jilted wife and jealous lover. She’s watched her new romance with Vince Vaughn flourish, fall apart and flourish again on the covers of tabloids. And she’s done it all with a certain dignity and grace.

But then they messed with Aunt Mary. Nobody messes with Aniston’s Aunt Mary.

Aniston is breaking her signature silence to tell the world, “We’re not engaged,” after reporters began calling her relatives liars for denying rumors that she and Vaughn are getting hitched.

“Normally we don’t even acknowledge these things because they’re endless, at this point. The thing that got me was that I was getting phone calls from Greece! My aunt Mary in Greece is getting accused of lying! I mean, they’re getting angry.”

Tabloid reporters should consider themselves lucky. If our Aunt Tzipi were mad, she’d put a kabbalistic hex on them and make all their teeth fall out. Except one. And then she’d give them a toothache.

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