Angry Teen WSJ Stomps Feet, Won’t Endorse Anyone

Like I even care!

With one day to go before the election, The Wall Street Journal has made it official: It isn’t endorsing a presidential candidate.

In an editorial about Donald Trump, the Journal took the stance of an angry teenager:

The Wall Street Journal hasn’t endorsed a presidential candidate since 1928, and if we didn’t endorse Ronald Reagan we aren’t about to revive the practice for Mrs. Clinton or Mr. Trump. Yet one of them will be the next President. The choice comes down to the very high if relatively predictable costs of four more years of brute progressive government under Hillary Clinton versus a gamble on the political unknown of Donald Trump.

Immediately after publishing this, the Journal stomped its feet, ran up the stairs and slammed its bedroom door while yelling “I hate you!” at its disappointed, exhausted parents.