All I Want for Christmas Is Less Kim Kardashian

I know I’m not perfect and I just got off the naughty list.

But since I’m (probably) back in good standing, I would like to request a special present this year: convince my media friends to stop covering the troglodyte known as Kim Kardashian.

This story is why.

KK often gets press for doing nothing, but this time she is blaming whatever deity she worships for an experience common to every woman in the world: slight weight gain during pregnancy.

Kim recently peeked outside her chateau, noticed that the spotlight wasn’t quite bright enough, and made up this story to justify coverage in Elle UK:

“It’s taken me a long time to be happy with my body and for my confidence to grow to what it is today.