The Final (Really) Mayoral Debate

Remember when WUSA 9 called that screamy cross-talkathon they did Wednesday night the “Now or Never” Debate? Supposedly, that was because it was the last Democratic debate before the primary election. Well that may be technically true, but it wasn’t the last opportunity for the candidates -Democrat or otherwise – to make their pitch to the voters.

Last night, 6th & I hosted The Very Last Debate, moderated by WCP‘s Will Sommer, featuring Tommy Wells, Rita Jo Lewis, Vincent Orange, Andy Shallal, and Jack Evans. Cameo appearances were made by Muriel Bowser and Vince Gray, who showed up about 10 and 5 minutes before the end of things, respectively.

Your humble FishbowlDC editor was in the audience, tweetin’ away. Check out the blow-by-blow, in all its gory detail, after the jump.

(Photo: Andy Shallal speaks at 6th & I Synagogue)

Allow me to lay the scene: The synagogue was hot. The people disgruntled and eager to yell. The Mayor is no where in sight.

The opening statements commence, they are all fairly boring.

Andy Shallal really stuck it to the Interfaith Council for trying to turn DC  into a theocratic state.

The transportation segment was actually about race and income inequality.

I actually just made that up. Jack Evans is old, but not that old.

That, I did not make up. Evans really said he looked like Michael Dukakis in a tank when he wears a bike helmet.

I think this tweet is supposed to be saying that Shallal claimed to be the most avid biker of all the candidates -but that he doesn’t actually bike in the city anymore cuz it’s too dangerous. Clearly trying to win over the wimpy worry-wart demographic.

Then we heard what may have been protesters. Or group sex. Or maybe a ghost.

Oh, it was probably people yelling at this guy.

Poor Vince Gray didn’t get much time to speak. He looked real sad about it. NOT! He always looks like he’s ordering a death squad to kill your family.

Bruce mostly organized bumper stickers and campaign literature throughout the debate. Also, he says David Catania is a IINO (Independent in Name Only) -pretty much a Democrat. We both fell asleep at one point.

Ha ha. Yeah real funny Vince -just mock all the angry, hot people five days before an election…

Overall, I’d give this debate a So-So. If you like slow, boring things, you may like it. Otherwise, you should probably just go see NOAH.