Advice for Oscar nominees: Let the shtupping begin

Listen, we’ve all been there. A public speech is always stressful, even for peak performers like Oscar nominees.

But forget about looking out into the crowd at the Kodak Theater and imagining David Geffen in his Calvins: As it turns out, using your willy can cure the willies. grouch.jpg

“The effects are not attributable simply to the short-term relief afforded by orgasm but rather, endure for at least a week,” said Stuart Brody, a psychologist at the University of Paisley in Scotland.

So for our imminent nominees, we are prescribing a little ‘How’s-your-father?’ no later than Wednesday evening, leaving you stress free even after entering your hermetically sealed hair-and-make-up panic room on Sunday morning.