7 Reasons To Spend Every Waking Hour On Facebook

We all know someone who has become a Facebook addict -- and that person might just be you. Here are seven reasons to give in to the addiction and spend your whole life on the site.

Snort FacebookWe all know someone who has become a Facebook addict — and that person might just be you. Here are seven reasons to give in to the addiction and spend your whole life on the site.

1. Who Needs To Socialize When You Have A Phone

You stare at your phone when you’re at a bar or restaurant with friends. Look, there’s nothing wrong with taking a break to see why your lover just texted you, but it has become a little bit excessive. Your Facebook contacts can probably deal without you commenting on every post they write. Social media is also used for curing boredom, but wasn’t your evening outing supposed to handle that?

2. You’re Preparing For The “Like Olympics”

If there was a gold medal to be won in the “Like Olympics,”you’d want want to win it. That’s why you’ve been going through the entire Facebook feed and clicking like on every single status update from your friends. You may have even taken things up a notch and posted an enthralling comment such as “Awesome!” or “LOL” to help communicate the deep emotion you’re currently experiencing. Don’t stop now, go for the gold!

3. You’re Waiting On Your Crush To Break Up

Seriously, if there’s anybody to fall in love with and spend your life obsessing over, it’s definitely the current crush you have on someone who’s already involved. You’re waiting for their relationship to come crashing down so you could comfort them as the good friend that you are, right? Rather than eating, sleeping, or performing any of your other basic human needs, I’d suggest you sit in front of Facebook and just wait for that disaster of a relationship to end.

4. You Are Deathly Afraid Of Boredom

I know sitting alone in a room and be a pretty painful experience, which is why Facebook was so successful in the first place. However taking out some time to think about your own life instead of worrying about others could really help you make some personal progress. Who needs that though when the comments on your friend’s recent ski trip photos just brought you that much closer to them?

5. Occasional Status Updates Aren’t Enough

Rather then waiting for someone to call you, post status updates at frequent intervals and wait for people to respond. This will show who truly cares about you. For some people, this is already their natural behavior so no practice is required. However if you haven’t pushed your Facebook friends to their limits, try posting as often as possible. While it won’t help you gain more friends, it will definitely help you feed your addiction.

6. Your Profile Photo Gets Stale In 15 Minutes

That last model pose you published to your profile was a killer one, but everybody knows that you can only be famous for 15 minutes. Why not make sure that you have the perfect look every 15 minutes? Four times an hour you should update your image just to make sure that if right now happens to be the moment that you become famous, you’ll have the perfect Facebook profile photo for the press to use.

7. Your Crops Are Ready

Every hour is harvest season when you’re playing FarmVille on Facebook. If you don’t care for your crops, the virtual plants may die! You also might miss out on the opportunity to earn some of that much cherished Farm Cash.

Any Others?

There are countless reasons to spend your life on Facebook and these were just seven of them. What other reasons are there for spending your entire life on Facebook?