60-Year-Old Reader’s Digest Employee Sues 8-Year-Old Boy

A 60-year-old Reader’s Digest employee has sued an eight-year-old boy for bumping into him while skiing. David Pfahler, 60, of Allentown Pennsylvania, is suing eight-year-old Scott Swimm of Vail, Co. and his father Robb Swimm.

Pfahler, who fell on the slopes, claims that eight-year-old Scott, who weighs just 48 pounds, was “skiing fast and recklessly.” In a lawsuit filed in Colorado, the 60-year-old is seeking more than $75,000 in damages for physical therapy, vacation time, nursing and medical services provided by his wife.

We’re really not kidding. Also, Pfahler’s only physical injury was a torn rotator cuff and a procedure to repair part of his clavicle.

The lawsuit itself is a work of art:

In the lawsuit, Pfahler says that Scott was “…skiing at a slow pace ahead of the defendant, Mr. Pfahler was plainly and readily visible…Swimm was skiing negligently and recklessly, at a high rate of speed. He collided into Mr. Pfahler causing him to be injured…the collision caused Mr. Pfahler to suffer a massive anterior rotator cuff tear….he has had to engage in an extensive and continuous course of physical theraphy…Mr. Pfahler may sustain permanent disability, impairment, and disfigurement and heightened risks of arthritic changes in his shoulder.”

Except he’s claiming an additional $40,000 for “physical therapy, vacation time, nursing and medical services provided by his wife.” C’mon.

Before suing Swimm and his father, Pfahler demanded that they help him pay $35,000 in medical bills via mail.

Except, here’s the thing we don’t get. Reader’s Digest offers one of the best health insurance packages in the industry. Not to mention the fact that anyone who can afford a skiing holiday in Vail has money to spare.. Throw in the fact that Scott has been skiing since age three?

Yup. Frivolous, evil lawsuit… all the way. I mean, who sues an eight-year-old?