You’ve got mail. And it’s loud and smelly.

Britain’s Royal Mail, which, in the age of digital messaging, apparently has way too much downtime, believes that adding scents, tastes and sounds to direct mail efforts will improve business. “This takes direct mail from a two-dimensional medium and turns it into a three-, four- or five-dimensional medium,” says Simon Harrop, chief executive of Brand Sense, the agency that’s co-developing the initiative. The fourth dimension is time, best ignored when it comes to snail-paced mail delivery. (And the Fifth Dimension haven’t had a hit in 30 years.) Royal Mail’s Antony Miller goes positively postal, telling The New York Times: “The mail of yesterday is not necessarily the mail of tomorrow.” That’s true. His mail shows up two weeks late since he dropped the “h” in his given name. As for adding scents (or even sounds and tastes) to DM campaigns: It’s an old idea not worth revisiting, especially since most people already believe that getting too much junk mail stinks.

—Posted by David Gianatasio