Woof Water, for when tap water won’t do

Whenever the collapse of Western civilization comes up, it’s always blamed on hedonism or TV or R-rated movies. But what’s also to blame is our approach to pet ownership. Not only do we insist on clothing these animals, which are usually covered in fur already, but we spoil them with designer products. For example, Avery’s Beverages is coming out with a new bottled water for dogs called “Woof Water.” What the target market here doesn’t know is that there already is a water for dogs. It’s called water. Look it up on Wikipedia. On the plus side, “a portion of proceeds from Woof Water sales will go to the Our Companions Domestic Animal Sanctuary,” which is committed to ending the euthanasia of healthy animals. I support this wholeheartedly. Save that precious bye-bye juice for people who buy Woof Water.

—Posted by David Kiefaber