Do you feel lucky? Well, do ya?

A user-created ad contest for What will they think of next? I enter all such competitions here on AdFreak. (I can’t enter for real—we’ve got ethics rules like you wouldn’t believe.) So … the essence of Las Vegas. I can’t think of anything original, which is fine, since mass-media imagery of Sin City is pervasive. Let’s do a mashup: The soundtrack, of course, is Pink Floyd’s “Money” (“Grab that cash with both hands and make a stash”). Open with a snippet of Barney and Fred in Viva Rock Vegas (the cartoon original, not those stupid remakes). Cut to Elvis and Ann-Margret doing the Frug on the Strip. Toss in the anthropomorphic slot machine from The Twilight Zone. Maybe a scene from Diamonds Are Forever—that was Vegas, right? Sean Connery was kind of past it, but he still looked cool in that tux. A clip of Iron Eyes Cody weeping uncontrollably (even though Vegas isn’t a tribal gaming venue, the actor wasn’t really a Native American, and plenty of people who visit Vegas end up in tears). Then split-screen footage from both versions of Ocean’s Eleven: Sinatra snarling on the left, Pitt preening on the right! (Maybe a better soundtrack is “Luck Be a Lady.” I know Sinatra did a version. I hope Pitt hasn’t.) Close in a hotel room littered with champagne bottles, playing cards and blackjack chips. Hundred-dollar bills float in the air like feathers. Some land in the commode. Which gives us our title … The Royal Flush! “Wager sensibly” appears for a split second at the bottom of the screen. Ethics, you know.

—Posted by David Gianatasio