Skyn Made a Fancy Guide to the World’s Best Hotels for Having Sex In

Gotta love a good euphemism.

In college, I aspired to build an app called “CuddleSpots,” a crowdsourced collection of good spots for getting busy in.

Conceptually, “Places of Intimacy” is way less twee.

With help from Sid Lee Paris, Skyn’s stolen my youth-driven pipe dream and slid it into some grown-up lady lace. Never mind the “cuddle-worthy” computer room hidden in Evans Hall’s basement; this is for another audience entirely, one that can afford to “get intimate” in places that are private.

In forms both digital and analog, “Places of Intimacy” highlights the 30 best (and likely most expensive) hotels for doing what courtrooms like to call “congress.”

The list was compiled by GQ magazine and Condé Nast Traveler. Skyn then sent couples out to try these places, relishing in soft carpets, silky sheets and, we’re sure, suggestively-shaped fruits covered in warm chocolate.

12 couples were recruited via an online campaign. “For three months, we sent them to dozens of hotel rooms across the globe to test Skyn products, in ideal conditions, and tell us about the intimate spots that inspired their intimacy,” say Sid Lee Paris’ creative directors Céline and Clément Mornet-Landa.

“In the guide, you’ll discover the photos and stories that they shared with us.”

You’ve been warned. On the website, the opening text explains this premise and invites you to enter with the words, “Enter their intimacy,” which is either creepy or inviting. Either way, it’s not untrue, because thoughts on each locale range from “sweet” to “Anaïs Nin, draft 1.” 

Below, Paris, France’s Edgar hotel—notable for the classy way it does mirrors over the bed—is reviewed by Olivier & Trisha:

We started to french kiss—when in Paris, right?—more and more, until half of our clothes came off. I might have wished I hadn’t thrown my luggage and coat on the bed if it wasn’t for the perfect composition it created, looking up at the mirrored ceiling. After a few minutes of unrehearsed ecstasy, we rolled on our backs and stared at ourselves in the ceiling.

Here’s what Daniel and Miguel have to say about Rio de Janeiro, Brazil’s Suite by Dussol.

He stood leaning on the headboard, his eyes on the panorama in front; I slid down his body to unfasten his trousers and give him a welcome worthy of the vista! Throughout our stay the golden yellow color of the bedroom walls made us feel happy. And we didn’t feel much need to leave the room. After all, pushing each other against the headboard in so many different combinations, we had found our special place…

That paragraph alone is a smoother read than anything you’ll find in 50 Shades of Grey. Just saying.

The site was created by Stink Studios, but a book—an actual guide!—was also conceived of all these steamy missives. Designed by Irradié, it was sent to a selection of journalists around the world.

“As the brand that champions intimacy, we were set on creating a global experience that imparts our ‘Feel Everything’ promise in allowing our consumers to be a part of it,” says Jeyan Heper, president and general manager of the Sexual Wellness Global Business Unit at Ansell (the brand name for Skyn condoms in Australia).

“This is our testament that intimacy can indeed be found anywhere and everywhere, and an invitation to our consumers to go on a trip and explore.”

So what are you waiting for? Project yourself, Skyn beckons, “crawling up the stairs at Hotel VDL Stanley,” ideally with a whole bunch of rubbers and some lube. I really am hard-pressed to think of anything more “intimate” and less “cuddly.”

CREDITS
Lifestyles Global – Skyn

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Angela Natividad

@luckthelady

Angela Natividad is a frequent contributor to Adweek's creativity blog, AdFreak. She is also the author of Generation Creation and co-founder of Hurrah, an esports agency. She lives in Paris and when she isn't writing, she can be found picking food off your plate.