Shed dignity with Captain Morgan’s workout


Avast, ye fatties! Everyone's favorite boozy buccaneer leads an exercise class and discusses his fitness philosophy in this well-cast and fairly amusing video introducing "The Captain Morgan Workout." Attired in his trademark red pirate's costume with tall leather boots, wide belt and goofy, gold-trimmed hat, the Captain is the gayest workout guru since Richard Simmons. The regimen consists solely of repeatedly adopting the hand-on-knee Cap'n Stance. "I want you to vary this exercise a little bit by continuing that exact same motion," he says. That's the best joke in the video. The before-and-after testimonial photos—the models' bodies haven't changed, but their frowns have turned to smiles—are also amusing. Overall, the effort rates about 3 starrrghs out of 5. It's a tad too long at 2:45, and by the end I was wondering which muscles he'd tone if he were forced to walk the plank.