Robert Goulet is not the Emerald Nuts spokesman

We’re told by a source close to Robert Goulet’s thinking that the crooner will appear in this year’s Emerald Nuts ad to appear on the Super Bowl—the big news, maybe, not being that he’ll appear, but that the commercial is being produced not by your next-door neighbor, but by this kind of company called an ad agency. Anyway, we received this visual of Monsieur Goulet (c’mon, it sounds better than Mr. Goulet, doesn’t it?), who appears to be doing something strange with a rope. Our source also imparts the following rundown of what went on at the shoot: "Goulet, at 73, was dancing, diving, running and even doing wire tricks, all on his own … [he] smelled like baby powder, very distinctly, but he wore it well … [he] punched every male crew member in the arm, chest or stomach within the first three hours of the shoot day." We’re also told, lest there be any confusion, that Monsieur Goulet’s appearance in this commercial most emphatically should not be seen as evidence that he is becoming the spokesperson for Emerald Nuts. So put that in your pipe and smoke it, whatever the hell it means.

—Posted by Catharine P. Taylor