Pump up the volume with the T-qualizer

Next time you hit the club, be sure to wear this ridiculous, “super funky” clubwear. It’s sound-activated, so all you have to do is pop in four AAA batteries, stand next to something loud, and the graphic-equalizer lights come to life. The mocking laughter of everyone around you will cause the lights to bounce even more vigorously, and you can watch the bars move up and down to your little heart’s content. “You will be sure to get the attention you deserve,“ says the Web site.