Damn you, hot hunks of advertising! Damn you to hot, hunky hell! Your Grecian glutes mock me as I polish off another nacho platter, and your six-pack abs shame me as I knock back my six-pack of beer! Shirtless Josh Button is the latest addition to the ad-hunk trend, rising seductively from the sea in Deutsch L.A.'s new tongue-in-cheek commercial for Diet Dr Pepper. (They make diet soda now?) "Millions of guys are born good looking," Button's voiceover begins, as the number 70,611,600 flashes on screen. "But not many are really good looking." The number 64,891 appears. "Even fewer are really, really, really, really, really good looking. At least, that's what I'm told." The number 45 zips by. "I'm Josh Button, and I'm one of a kind." We then get a full-on view of his chiseled torso as the red number 1 appears, thrust like a dagger into my cholesterol-clogged heart. (Hey, I'm at least one of the 70 million fairly OK-looking dudes, right?!) "We're poking fun at ourselves and the trend of hot guys in advertising," Dr Pepper svp of marketing Jaxie Alt tells USA Today, alluding to hunk sightings in spots for brands like Kraft Zesty Italian dressing and Diet Coke. After decades of impossibly trim bikini babes making women feel insecure, I guess it's men's turn to suffer. At least one advertiser out there is providing a more realistic depiction of the male form. But when you consider the state of that beach bum's liver, and his life expectancy, it's cold comfort indeed. Credits below.