No market penetration for Dundee condoms

In international news, Thai cultural watchdogs (who’ve evidently never heard the joke based on their capital city’s name) recently banned a line of condoms called Tom Dundee, which are named after a popular country singer. However, since Dundee means “good penetration” in Thai, the name was deemed too suggestive for Thai consumers. Dundee, whose real name is Puntiva Poomiprates, says he lent his name to the condom brand in an effort to promote safe sex in a country where more than 500,000 people have HIV or AIDS and infection rates are climbing among young people. And if Tom Good Penetration sees an AIDS epidemic, he does something about it. Looks like they’ll have to stick to massages in Thailand. Hallmarky American country music could learn a thing or two from this. Could you imagine Toby Keith condoms featuring screen prints of the singer holding Osama bin Laden’s severed head against an American flag backdrop? Travis Tritt condoms with a mail-in rebate for a free mullet wig? Billy Ray Cyrus condoms packaged with a heartfelt apology for “Achy Breaky Heart”? Such civic responsibility isn’t too impossible a dream. And besides, any of those artists would tell you that America is where impossible dreams are realized.

—Posted by David Kiefaber