NASA’s spin doctors are still spacing out

For an organization powered by rocket fuel, NASA wasn’t especially quick to launch its spin machine and defend its image in the wake of recent bad press. Now that the “astronauts flying drunk” headlines are nearly two weeks old, letters from Space Shuttle commander Scott Kelly have begun appearing in newspapers. “Space Shuttle commander” is an impressive job title indeed; it would really stand out on a resume. But his tepid non-denial (“To imply that my crew or I would ever consider launching on our mission in anything but the best possible condition is utterly ridiculous”) is just … I dunno, what’s a space metaphor that fits? Filled with more holes than the lunar surface? On the plus side, as far as anyone knows, jealous partynaut Lisa Nowak was stone-cold sober when she allegedly wiggled into an adult diaper, disguised herself in a trenchcoat and wig, loaded her car with pepper spray, a BB gun, a steel mallet, a four-inch knife and rubber tubing, and drove 900 miles to confront a romantic rival.

—Posted by David Gianatasio