“You’re going to need an abacus to keep track of all the ass you’ll be getting in this thing!” That’s one of dozens of stellar lines in the homemade ad below—a truly astonishing collage posted to Craigslist by one Nate Walsh, who may be a scrapbooking fanatic (he hasn’t replied to our email yet) but is certainly one of the most inventively twisted human beings in the greater southern Illinois area. Each section is more hilarious than the last, as Walsh pitches what’s clearly a piece of crap not just with humor but with panache. It ends up reading like the most amusing infomerical script you’ve ever read—complete with the stunning price reveal at the end, and the car framed by Wieden-esque images of fighter jets, explosions and fireworks. Seriously, you couldn’t do better than this. (It makes that earlier homemade Pontiac ad look like it was made by a preschooler.) Because people are stupid, it’s already been flagged for removal from Craigslist. Via Happy Place.