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I knew dealing with brokers could take years off your life, but this is ridiculous. Merrill Edge, the online brokerage platform by Bank of America, puts a new wrinkle in financial planning with Face Retirement, an online tool that takes your picture via webcam and ages the resulting image. I tried it and was truly horrified when I saw a pasty, desiccated, walrus-jowled face staring back at me. And that's how I look now! I need to get out in the sun more.