Linoleum knife will keep moviegoers in line

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Remember the Chipotle ad where the giant burrito that looks like a tampon scares the hell out of the classic dancing movie concessions? Well, here’s something funnier: metal band Mastodon’s achievement of the same laudable goal at the beginning of the Aqua Teen Hunger Force movie. Not only is it funny, and a better representation of heavy metal than Metalocalypse will ever be, but it’s also a genuine public service, reminding the audience not to kick chairs or explain the plot to others, that the box-office receipts will be spent on drugs, and to wait until after the feature to run over your baby in the parking lot. If the moviegoers fail in any way, they will feel the wrath of the linoleum knife. I just wish I knew what that green singer thing was supposed to be. Is it a Jujube or a Dot or something? Via YesButNoButYes.

—Posted by David Kiefaber