Ideas for John Mark Karr’s future career

Why not give John Mark Karr his own cable talk show? Or satellite radio channel? Maybe he can appear in PSAs instructing parents how to keep their kids safe from online predators. Or run for Congress. At the very least, he’s in line for a six-figure Hollywood biopic deal. (Can you spell Oscar, Leonardo DiCaprio?) Karr’s a pinch-faced, self-aggrandizing sociopath who craved the spotlight so badly he wasted the entire world’s time by non-confessing to some non-involvement in JonBenet Ramsey’s murder. He’s already appeared on Larry King, and was well enough coached to toss off some choice quips ("I never gave a definitive overt yes or no to anything"), blame the media for causing the chaotic scenes during his arrest in Thailand, and get some friend to allude to his "troubled past." (See, HE’s the real victim here.) Andy Warhol had the sense to wait until his associates achieved something before proclaiming them media stars. (Warhol would have changed channels on Karr after 15 seconds.) Rupert Pupkin was actually guilty when he graced the covers of all the magazines. (For clues to this somewhat obscure reference, look here.) True, Pupkin was a made-up character whose very existence (and by extension, humanity) is as transient as a digitally encoded bit or reel of celluloid. The same can be said of Karr.

—Posted by David Gianatasio