This Guy’s Replies to 9/11 Brand Tweets Sum Up Everything That’s Wrong With 9/11 Brand Tweets

Luckily, Mike Monteiro is that foil.

Much of this morning, he's been replying to brands' 9/11 tweets with amusingly fake enthusiasm, giving his 45,000 followers some comic relief on what's always a difficult day.

Check out some of Monteiro's tweets below.

I mean, who couldn't have used a @huggies on that day. https://t.co/rrvta5142P

— Mike Monteiro (@monteiro) September 11, 2014

@DunkinDonuts @seanbonner Those people left a hole in our hearts, and in our donuts. #neverforget

— Mike Monteiro (@monteiro) September 11, 2014

Thank you @Applebees. When we pulled Mother's body out of the wreckage we dragged it to Applebees. And you guys gave us free sodas.

— Mike Monteiro (@monteiro) September 11, 2014

Trust me, I will #neverforget. “@Cash4YourHome: Appreciate the tweet @monteiro.”

— Mike Monteiro (@monteiro) September 11, 2014

9/11 wouldn't have happened if every airline passenger was armed, right, @Beretta_USA? Got any discount codes? #neverforget #neverreload

— Mike Monteiro (@monteiro) September 11, 2014

Hi @TheNewYouMedSpa! Is there a special discount if you actually lost someone in the towers? #neverforget #neverhadafacial

— Mike Monteiro (@monteiro) September 11, 2014

I wanna get ripped and kick terrorist ass, @Tee_Major! https://t.co/RHXNNmNuyE

— Mike Monteiro (@monteiro) September 11, 2014

@intimacybox @fart I think my sister was wearing your lingerie when she died in the towers.

— Mike Monteiro (@monteiro) September 11, 2014

The terrorists can take the icees from our cold, dead hands, am I right, @Official_ICEE? I mean fuck those dudes! Icee me, bro. Discounts?

— Mike Monteiro (@monteiro) September 11, 2014

We reached out to Monteiro for comment, but he pointed us to Sean Bonner, who's also been monitoring branded 9/11 tweets today, and retweeting many of them. We spoke with Bonner to get his take. 

Brands are not people.

— Sean Bonner Ⓥ (@seanbonner) September 11, 2014

AdFreak: What makes these tweets feel so icky?

Sean Bonner: It's simple. Brands are not people. Brands do not have emotions or memories or condolences or heartbreak. People have those things, and when a brand tries to jump into that conversation, it's marketing. And in a less emotionally charged environment it's just dumb. But when talking about a tragedy that resulted in way too many people actually dying, it's icky times 1000.

How can brands insert themselves into the conversation without seeming opportunistic?

They can't. They shouldn't. Seriously, there's no way for a brand to "insert themselves into a conversation" about a tragedy like this without it being bad. I mean, really.

How could a brand's social media managers handle this with more sensitivity?

STFU. That's the best option. Today (or whatever other tragedy this kind of thing has happened with) isn't the time for marketing. It isn't the time for branding or getting people to pay attention to companies. It's a time for people to interact with each other, and the only respectful thing for brands to do is stay out of it and wait for tomorrow to get back to business.

Ugh. I'm done. I can't even stomach looking at those search results anymore.

— Sean Bonner Ⓥ (@seanbonner) September 11, 2014