Friends don’t let friends dial drunk

Virgin_mobile_2So now we learn that Virgin Mobile Australia is offering a new service called Dialing Under the Influence, where drinkers can, pre-drinking, arrange to have certain outgoing (in every sense of the word) phone calls blocked until the next morning. Ergo, no humiliating drunken hails in the early morning hours to ex-spouses, bad bosses or that really cute whatever in the cubicle next to yours at the office.

It’s a great concept, except we think other services would be just as beneficial to the life populi: ones that keep people from E-mailing Under the Influence, Chatting Up the Blonde at the Bar Under the Influence, Walking Under the Influence, Thinking Under the Influence and Choosing Music at the Juke Box Under the Influence. And if the events of several Tuesdays past are any indication, we desperately need a Voting Under the Influence service.

Alas, this breakthrough, concocted by the phone company’s executives at a pub one night, isn’t available in the U.S. yet. So for the forseeable future, the only way friends don’t let friends dial drunk in America is to take their cell-phone batteries away from them.

—Posted by Jack Feuer