Enrique Iglesias too small for condom ads

Ok, I’m going to try to keep this one SFW, so I’m not going to compare my manhood to Enrique Iglesias’s, nor will I make any attempts to woo Anna Kournikova. But Iglesias’s shocking — shocking, I say — admission that he’s not the right candidate to model Lifestyles condoms got me thinking. Who would be appropriate? David Lee Roth? Bret Michaels? Snoop? Milton Berle? Then it hit me: Get them all. This seems like the perfect opportunity for the Plaster Caster, the self-proclaimed recovering groupie who made souvenirs of all her conquests. (Her Web site would be NSFW, if I could get it to work. Sorry, I tried.) Cynthia, call your agent, an opportunity awaits.

—Posted by Aaron Baar