Don’t squeeze the Starburst GummiBursts

Mars is flogging its Starburst GummiBursts all over the place. The "Share something juicy" commercials riff on people who share sensitive information. Those clips are OK, but the Nite Fite animated faux talk show on NextNewNetworks is more strained than some of my AdFreak posts. Yeah, it’s that unfunny! The candies themselves apparently have a liquid “squirt” center—which is pretty disgusting. Check out the “Scientists in a Box” spot, which essentially portrays the Gummis as squirting carriers of some kind of contagion. Candy should look good, taste great and buzz my brain if I eat a whole bag. It should not “squirt” or behave aggressively. That said, I ran downstairs after viewing all these ads and tried to find some GummiBursts—but all the store had were Sour Patch Kids from Cadbury Adams. God, these things are great, they’re so freaking sour, my mouth is numb. And best of all: no squirting of any kind.

—Posted by David Gianatasio