Could your breasts use a ‘cleavage clamp’?

Headshot of T.L. Stanley

If there really is a piece of lingerie that will take fat pockets from our bums and place them directly onto our cleavage, then ladies, the line starts behind me. But my Chinese is fairly nonexistent, so the finer points of the infomercial below are lost on me. What I can tell, though, is that this is a jaw-dropping five minutes devoted to a product that could be the most magical corset ever created. Is the name really “Chinese cleavage clamp,” or is that just a bad (porn-tinged) translation? I’m not sure how much it costs, but I think I can scrape together a few ducats to see if I can get the kind of results that formerly flatty-Patty models are touting here. See how happy they look with their new racks? Their boobs are practically airborne! There are a few inevitabilities here—a Victoria’s Secret knock-off, followed by an explosion-heavy Michael Bay commercial—but miraculously jumping from an A to a D cup probably isn’t one of them. Via BuzzFeed.

@TLStanleyLA T.L. Stanley is a senior editor at Adweek, where she specializes in consumer trends, cannabis marketing, meat alternatives, pop culture, challenger brands and creativity.