Coffee and chimps: Recipe for apocalypse

Jane Goodall is teaming up with Green Mountain Coffee
Roasters to help preserve the habitats of wild chimpanzees in Tanzania’s Gombe
National Park. That Jane really needs a new hobby after all these years.
Anyway, it’s way too cold up in Vermont for chimps, so Green Mountain has
nothing to fear. As for the rest of us, well, have you have ever SEEN a chimp
after it’s had a couple lattes? First they Riverdance. Next, they take over
human jobs
– mainly in the HR Departm
ent and Accounts Payable. Ultimately, you
wind up with an entire planet run by apes and people running around in
loincloths, which, by the way, is a vision I keep having after one too many
caramel macchiatos. Damn you, Starbucks. Damn you all to hell!

@griner David Griner is Adweek's international editor and host of the Adweek podcast, "Yeah, That's Probably an Ad."