Big boobs: Don’t leave home without them

Plasticassets_1“With a low APR and bigger breasts, you will be ready for anything!” That’s a rock-solid promise from Plastic Assets, the credit card that lets you “earn FeelGood Points™ every time you shop, and redeem them for free surgeries (liposuction, tummy tucks, lip injections, future breast augmentations).” If you’re not convinced, check out the testimonials on the site, like this one from a generous and loving father: “My daughter, Sharon, is going to Yale this fall. We always said we wanted the best for her. The best education, the best home life, and the best body. As a father and a man, I know the power breasts can have, and I know our Sharon will be that much more successful now that she moves with the confidence of a woman.” Yes, this site is a fake. It’s the top entry for March, so far, in The Huffington Post’s ongoing Contagious Festival.

—Posted by Tim Nudd