Another way to drive your employees slowly insane: Have a corporate song

Your job sucks and all, but at least your company doesn’t have a corporate song. And if it does have a corporate song, at least it’s not as bad as Henkel’s corporate song, which was recently named the best corporate song in the world by the Stevie Awards. Henkel is the German company that just acquired a handful of P&G deodorant brands, including Right Guard, which it has assigned to EnergyBBDO. For the agency’s sake, I hope Henkel doesn’t get too involved in the creative decisions, because judging by this song, which is called “We Together,” Henkel makes seriously bad creative decisions. You have to listen to this thing. (It’s been recorded in several languages, and there’s even an instrumental version, all of which are on the Web site. There’s also a making-of “We Together” video, if you can believe it.) I guess you’d call it aspirational light rock. Another name for it would be complete and utter shit. The idea of a corporate song is bad enough; you couldn’t find a finished product that’s much worse than this. You can imagine Henkel’s employees, arm in arm, singing it numbly at a corporate retreat, as they all seriously contemplate killing one another and/or themselves. So this is considered the world’s best corporate song? If that doesn’t explain what’s wrong with corporate culture, nothing will.

—Posted by Tim Nudd