Alaska's hockey-bear mascot destroys Earth

You can’t say we didn’t warn you. Sure enough, that interstellar murder bear from the University of Alaska-Fairbanks has returned to take out his catastrophic vengeance on arctic sea vessels, Michigan State and the very Earth itself. While the new hockey-season promo’s soundtrack remains entrenched in the ’80s, the polar bear seems to have amassed a devastating new arsenal that includes a Voltron-style blazing hockey stick. For our own protection, maybe we should all start catching more flights to Europe.