Sprint Site Is Time Well Spent

NEW YORK Hey kids, don’t try this at home. But be sure to try it at the office. Sprint, through Goodby, Silverstein & Partners, has created a really cool microsite that calculates how much time you waste. (And when you factor in how much time you waste calculating how much time you waste, it’s really going to hurt.) Visit the site and start saving time right away by viewing four instructional mini-films, like the kind you would have watched in middle school if anyone had a sense of irony, offering “tips that will refund your time and amaze your friends.” Take “How to Quick Peel an Egg” (time rebate: four days of your life). This one was sort of disgusting to watch, as a man grabs a boiled egg, takes a little shell off the top and the bottom, and then blows the rest of the shell to Kingdom Come. As the feat is repeated, a female voice that conjures up Sprite’s SubLYMONal ads explains that he “exhales with gusto. Voila, now your egg is free and ready to eat.” The other tricks include “Instant Shirt Removal” (time saved: three days of your life). A guy with a lightning bolt on his T-shirt grabs his left sleeve with his right hand, and the shirt basically cartwheels over his shoulder and onto the floor. Oh, there’s some subtle sales stuff thrown in, too, like saving four years by using Sprint, so your unlimited calls can start at 7 p.m., instead of 9. But I prefer the time calculator based on the average human lifespan of 78 years. (And Sprint, the small type tells us, is not responsible for how long we live, damn it.) Turns out that by brushing my teeth four minutes a day, I’ll spend two months and 19 days of my life that way. Minus four days, of course, from learning how to blow eggs.