Monsters InK

Tom Lichtenheld must have learned some strange business practices during his career in advertising. After telling children all he knew about pirates in a recent children’s book, the former Fallon art director hits the shelves again with a new tome about monsters.

The book, published by Simon & Schuster, reveals monsters for what they really are: lazy, dumb and terrified by the closet light, Lich tenheld said.

He also writes that some creatures smell like grape Jell-O, while others are responsible for taking that one sock from the dryer.

The book does not directly reference Lich tenheld’s time in advertising (he’s still a freelance art director). But he does write in the introduction that he has “been accused of being one of the best story maker-uppers ever”—a distinction bestowed upon him by his mom.