Just Asking

1. Norelco. Santa riding a razor? My whole life has been spent imagining the sensation. He’s riding a razor! 2. Reddi-wip, Duraflame, Eveready, Moët & Chandon, Alka-Seltzer. For me, it’s Budweiser—and I don’t even like their beer. But I really look forward to their holiday TV spot with the Clydesdales trotting through the snow. Maybe I’ll give Bud another try this year.

Butterball turkeys and Ocean Spray cranberry sauce top the list. But the most brand-intensive dish has to be the green-bean casserole, featuring Green Giant French-cut beans and Campbell’s mushroom soup, topped with Durkee’s fried onion rings—it’s like a Thanksgiving hat trick. —I’ll never forget the first time I saw the “‘ingle ‘ells, ‘ingle ‘ells” billboard for J&B Scotch. Reading the payoff—”The holidays aren’t the same without J&B”—was one of the things that inspired me to pursue a career in advertising. But if we were doing a pure word association exercise and you said “holidays,” the first brand that would come to mind is Tofurky. The brands I associate with the holidays (in no particular order): Mylanta (for intestinal relief); Xanax (for familial relief); Butterball (love the pop-out thermometer); Korbel (I got a holiday fever … and the only thing that can cure it … is more Korbel); Jack’s 99 Cent Store (for gift-giving). Smirnoff.