If a man is so rich that he has gold busts made in his image, and he chooses DirecTV, the satellite service must be the best? Right? Right? Well that’s not the point of this commercial, which is a good thing, because the tacky star of the spot isn’t the most sympathetic character. The commercial touts DirecTV as a value with its five-month free premium package. “Opulence, I has it,” says a Russian gansta type as he munches on gold-covered grapes and is trailed by gold- and fur-wearing arm candy. Surrounded by bodyguards and beautiful women, he tells us, “I like the best, but I also like savings the money,” n his accented, mangled English. As he makes his way through the ostentatious house, we see he has quite eclectic tastes. Instead of a velvet painting of dogs playing poker, he has real-life pooches playing, a Van Gogh sitting on the floor and a tray made of gold ingots to hold his remote. He sits on the sofa, as a woman passes him the remote and explains the offer. “I jump in it,” he says and turns to give a pint-sized giraffe propped on a pillow next to him a kiss, which sends him into a knee-slapping maniacal laugh. And as cheesy as it is, I can’t help but join him. The giraffe and the laugh get me every time. –Eleftheria Parpis
