CLAIROL HAIR-COLORING PRODUCTS

The photo is standard issue for this category, as is the aren’t-I-naughty headline. The unusual element is the handwritten mini-autobiography that lists Ms. Whiplash’s name, Clairol shade and “Loves”—the last of these consisting of “Southern writers, British bands, my little red convertible, staying out late.” These calculated snippets of self-description make me feel as if I’m looking at the Playmate of the Month, except they forgot to take her clothes off.

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