Missed the pre-April Fools’ roundup? Recover from your Peeps hangover with another round of pranks.
Why does this not exist?! Lego presents the VacuSort, a vacuum that will both swallow your bricks and sort them. Never again will you feel the uncompromising agony of walking over a bunch of strays you didn’t bother to pick up because the task is just too daunting.
How badly does your business need Google? iSeeCars.com knows on which side its bread is buttered; its GShrine ensures that in addition to search engine optimization, Google is venerated with the devotion it deserves—lit candles and original content offerings. Save some of that prayer time for Saint Zuck.
In an unprecedented move, Netflix has finally followed the path of least resistance and acquired Seth Rogen entirely. Sorry, Amazon and HBO. Zach Galifianakis is still running free, though! Lock that down.
In weird pun action, Charmin launched a fake coffee brand, GoRoast—brewed for those who can’t wait to go. Smell those beans.
Production today may be faster, more democratic and higher in quality, but boy is it bland and impersonal. Thus inspired, and likely after spending way too much time watching Fuller House, Vidyard released its “most innovative product”: GoVHS.
Make a personal home video for family members or clients in less than two hours. All you need is a camcorder, a trusty tripod and a VHS tape; you’ll be filming yourself in 4:3 standard definition in no time. There’s no Instagram filter for true vintage!
Francis Ford Coppola Winery
Wine lovers will love this A.I. assistant, which is shaped like a wine bottle and features the nonplussed voice of the director himself. Keep it by your bed. Drink it when you’re sad.
Following intensive study and research, Fiverr’s managed to isolate entrepreneurial ambrosia, the “doer gene”—that little scrap of chromosomal code that makes you more likely to thrill at crossing something off your to-do, and less likely to entertain notions of failure.
No, you can’t buy the gene. But you can order the test! Think of it as 23andMe for people interested in ransacking the future, not the past.
Sick of poorly-sized clothing? In its ongoing efforts to ensure happiness for all, Zappos unveils its resizing service, equipped with super muscular dudes who will stretch your clothes out so you don’t have to.
Speaking of survival of the fittest, Australia’s biggest education comparison site has just released a new line of study: the Diploma of Human Survival. Whether the future you face is a robot uprising, or just ho-hum environmental collapse, you’ll most certainly find something handy in a curriculum that includes scavenging for food, avoiding detection and finding (or improvising) shelter.
All it’ll cost is 6.5 bitcoin or 12 large untainted potatoes. Given the course’s apocalyptically optimistic 72 percent survival rate, we think it’s worth the fee.
To promote its Baja Blast flavor, the brand’s plugging the Baja Bungalow, which basically lets fans live inside the concept of the Baja Blast: Think saltwater tanks full of sharks, tropical blast shower heads and an indoor hydro typhoon surf simulator. Okay.
As an accompaniment to Newegg Now, a weekly livestream it launched last year, Newegg is releasing an ASMR-focused (or autonomous sensory meridian response) video series.
“ASMR enthusiasts have been vocal about their desire for Newegg to bridge their affinity for tech with their love of ASMR-styled product reviews, so we wanted to show just how closely we’ve been listening,” said Alan-Sawyer Marcus Randall III, community outreach specialist at Newegg. “Our Newegg Now hosts, JC Bagnell and Trisha Hershberger, will extend their hosting duties to the new show, and we hope the ASMR community will enjoy this special new video series.”
This is actually a pretty good idea, actually.
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