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Celebrity voices on GPS devices are one of the great delights of the modern age, and also one of the surest signs of the apocalypse. Having celebrities literally direct your every move is a painfully apt metaphor for pop culture in 2011. At the same time, the most popular voices are jackasses like David Hasselhoff and Gary Busey—people who inherently cannot be trusted, and whose "celebrity" is more about reality-show meltdowns and the drunken eating of cheeseburgers than talent.

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